Call me Audrey, please.

    I'm a romantic. I'm just beginning to realize it. Probably because I've subconsciously suppressed it for years. Because when you're a girl and you're romantic, it means you're dependent and needy. And the last thing a girl ever wants to be seen as is dependent and needy. So, of course when I find myself getting butterflies when a certain man walks in the room or when I catch myself daydreaming of being swept off my feet, my knee jerk reaction is to shut it off and remind myself that fantasies are just that, and not reality. And that I'd better stop thinking something like that is going to happen, because it's not. And if it does, it will be short lived.
     Anyway, I've changed my mind. I think I'm going to start nurturing my romantic nature. Not in a lustful or manipulative way...but in a way that honors the fact that I'm a woman. And honestly, my mind isn't just geared toward romance between two people. I desire romance in everything I pursue. A romantic career, romantic relationships, a romantic life. I think that's okay. I think it's okay to realize that imagination and adventure and relationships are all things that make the heart come alive and as long as we're not using it for vanity or selfish gain, then romance is one of God's most beautiful gifts.
     I think I'll start writing poems. I think I'll read more poems. I think I'll read ones by Sappho, Rumi, John Donne and David the Psalmist. I'll listen to Jeff Buckley and Damien Rice. I'll wear dresses and I'll bat my eyelashes. And maybe when I like I guy, I'll make it known. Classily, of course.