Calling Out Growth

This post stems from the one I wrote a couple weeks ago, about voicing love. But this time, I want to talk about pulling out specific qualities in your friends and naming them, and what kind of power that carries.

I remember in the summer of 2010, I had just come on staff to YWAM Salem. Even though I had been there before, had incredible times, and made many friends, being on staff felt very odd, disillusioning and lonely. It was kind of a shock, and to be honest, and I felt very small. I wondered what impact I could make there, if I could make any at all. I had no direction as to why I was there, I was only there because I felt God nudge me to go. So, I was feeling pretty aimless.
One day I was at lunch and sitting with someone that I admire a lot, someone who is probably one of the top 3 biggest influences in my life. And we're just sitting there, chatting, and suddenly he said, "You know, Becky...I see so much growth in you. I was telling someone I mentor the other day of the importance of taking spirituality seriously, and I said to them, 'You know someone who does that? Becky Sanders.'"
It caught me off guard. I said, "What? Really?"
He said, "Definitely. I know you can't see it, but you've come a long way."
There were a few reasons this was a big deal to me. #1. I admire this person a great deal. #2. I was in the midst of a major dry season, spiritually. #3. I felt like I had actually been regressing instead of progressing. He went on to list more things he was noticing in me, and I remember sitting there, first of all extremely humbled, but second of all, SO encouraged. It was like his words were bringing to life another side of me that I didn't think would ever be able to take breath, because of all my downfalls, failures and repeated mistakes. By declaring my strengths, this person was becoming a life giver for me. Like I said in my previous post, there is not only so much power in knowing someone likes you for you, but there's HUGE power in specifically naming someone's growth points and calling them out.

So, again, here is a task for you: Find a friend. Your best friend. Or someone that you know very well, someone you've been able to observe, someone you're close enough to that you have the authority to be able to call out the growth you're seeing. Sit them down. Name the specific things you see (increased awareness, confidence, greater peace, better skills at something they're pursuing, etc). Mean what you say. Don't water it down with flowery speech and sappy sentiment (unless that person is into that kind of thing). And then take a step back and watch how calling those things forth causes your friend to be able to not only dwell in those growth points, but transform in a greater way than if no one had noticed.

Start paying attention to where you're friends minds and hearts are headed. Be conscious of your ability to be a life giver. And tell them when they're moving on the up and up.